I guess I could label myself the more pleasant term of thinker instead of analyzer.
I can’t let a conversation go without first running over everything said to see if I failed to pick up on something that wasn’t said at that time. I’m telling you, I am a man’s worst nightmare.
What did you mean by…?
Do you think she failed to mention homeschool because she doesn’t like it? agree with it?
Why do you think he wore that? Was he saying something with that particular tie?
Back in 89, when you said ____________ did you really mean_______?
Okay, maybe not quite that bad but I do go over facial expressions and statements in my head to squeeze out every last ounce of meaning from each. And I’m completely sure I’ve analyzed every meaning correctly. Except, I can’t possibly be sure unless I actually ask the person involved.
A very wise woman once told me that you should never attach a motive to anyone else’s actions or words.
That advice alone has made a huge difference in my relationships. It allows me to analyze but then ask. How could I possibly know what motivates someone to speak words that hurt me. We each live with totally different perspectives. The lens I view life through is a different lens than you use. All of my past experiences either fog up my lens to the things you are living through or sharpen the picture depending on my personality. There are so many variables.
Communication should be easier in this technology-driven, social media world. Yet, forms of communication like texting actually allow for more miscommunication. I’m sarcastic so I basically have to add a smiley face after every.single.thing I text so people know I’m not being mean.
Oh and how about those vague facebook status complaints some people like to post. I feel like they are all about me but they can’t possibly be, can they?
What I’m saying is, let’s ditch the technology when it comes to those we know and love, the people that matter most to us. Let’s sit down in front of each other over a fudgy brownie and a cup of coffee and just talk. Be real. Open up. Show me your flaws and I’ll show you mine. And if you say something a little off, expect a call from me in a few months asking what you meant. Sound good?